Death at Christmas
by Lastsyns
Summary: As the Eleventh Doctor reaches his end he takes a moment to say goodbye.


It was strange when he thought of everyone he had lost over the years and why, he had lost them. You didn't live to be two thousand years old without losing someone you loved or just cared about. There were deaths that had affected him more than others. The death of Adric had haunted him for years, while with River it seemed as she never left him, not really. Even as he sat in the chair in the building that had become his home he could see her sitting nearby. Sometimes she spoke to him and while he was tempted to answer her, he had long ago let her go. He had hoped that she would finally rest inside of the library but she never truly left him and for that he was grateful.

Of all the people he had lost throughout the years, though, it was his mother that he missed the most. It was his mother who had held him as a child and loved him, even when his father had shunned him for not being loomed like a good Time Lord. It was his mother who he had returned to Gallifrey time and time again just to see. And it was his mother who had given him the strength to send the Time Lords back into the never ending war, letting Earth remain. It was also his mother that he planned to see first and begged for forgiveness from. She would forgive him, just like she had always done in the past.

He was going to die soon. In a town called Christmas, far away from the TARDIS that had become his home and the Earth which he had adopted as his own. He would never see London or Gallifrey again and perhaps that was for the best. At least in this city, he would die among those who saw him as a hero and not a monster who destroyed his own people. When he was regenerating from his tenth to eleventh body, he had looked back at all those who had touched his life. Perhaps now it was time to finally tell them goodbye.

The people of the city were singing again and he paused to listen to them. The day here was only for a few minutes at a time and the people gathered to welcome it. They rejoiced in the light that took over the everlasting night that was their lives. The sun marked a beginning of a new day for them and each day that passed brought hope that the war would end soon. Though the Doctor longed for it to end and the people to be safe he also knew that even with his death, they never would be. The Time Lords had chosen this last crack in the universe to communicate with the rest of the universe. Until that crack was closed people would still come bringing with them the death of this civilization.

His body was weary with the years he had spent fighting and the choices he had to make. He could hear them waiting on the other side of the crack in the wall for him to speak his name, yet the consequences of doing so were too vast for him to begin to contemplate. He longed to tell them they could return before rushing to the planet to see his family. He would throw himself into his mother's arms begging her forgiveness. She would hold him tightly comforting him as he took his final breath knowing that he was still loved. Except for by doing so, the Time War would be sparked once more. How many more Time Lords would have to die before they tried to end the universe once more? He wouldn't live long enough to stop them for he was destined to die on this planet. His tomb would stand at the top of the small hill he had built his life on.

Standing up, he grabbed his cane and walked slowly towards the balcony to feel the sun on his face. How he missed the double suns that once had woke him each morning. Yet as he looked out on the small town, lit by the sunlight once more, he remembered why he was here. He wasn't fighting this war for himself but to keep the people below alive. The first generation he had met on this planet had long since passed and everyone now, he had watched grow and thrive in the night. He had learned their culture. Throughout the years he had sung their songs and danced with the others. He would protect them with his last breath for this place was now his home.

As the light faded he made his way back to his chair by the fire. It was the most he was able to do now as he felt himself fading into the darkness that had returned to the city. Closing his eyes one last time, he thought from in the crack he could hear his mother singing to him an old Gallifreyan lullaby. But perhaps that was only a memory.


End file.
